How Mary Changed My Life

by Sr. Joseph Mary Maximilian, FTI
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Other Articles by Sr. Joseph Mary Maximilian, FTI
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I was once a liberal, feminist, cafeteria Catholic who went 19 years without confession. Now I am a Franciscan Tertiary of the Immaculate which is a strict and most faithful third order vocation. Living my Catholic faith is the joy and duty of every day of my life. Who got me from the one place to the other? Our Blessed Mother Mary did.
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For reasons that I will never completely understand in this life, a grace was given to me some years ago. The grace from someone’s prayer must have been applied to my soul, because I never prayed myself. I could be active and even do charity work, and did, but I could not pray. I searched among different spiritual avenues and means, but found myself inexplicably drawn to Mary, Our Lady. I discovered particular messages of Our Lady at Fatima and elsewhere that found their way to my heart.
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Let me take you back to my frame of mind: Do I need conversion? I had always been a Catholic so I do not need that. Prayer? Well, I can’t go for that but I will do an activity. Penance? That went out some years ago. Sacraments? I go to Mass almost every Sunday. Our Lady must have found something in there to work with, though.
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Her messages would not leave my heart; they kept nagging me. The first change was when I began to pray and by that I mean literally one minute a day. In fact I had a little prayer book that was "One-Minute Meditations.” But that one minute was an opening in my hard heart and with that the lifeline to God that is prayer began to be established.
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After some months, I was drawn to confession as well. After 19 years, I received once again that healing Sacrament of Reconciliation. Our Lady asks for monthly confession and I have been to the Sacrament monthly ever since — lately even more often. The layers around my heart and soul began to peel away. I could not have put a name to what I was experiencing at the time but I can now: conversion.
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At the time of my re-conversion at the hands of Our Lady, I experienced a new zeal and consuming desire to learn all I could about the faith. I was particularly drawn to all things Marian. The book, True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin written by St. Louis de Montfort beckoned me. I was completely unfamiliar with Marian consecration before reading this book, but it struck a chord in my heart. I followed the 33-day preparation as set forth in the formula of St. Louis, then made my Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary on March 25, 1996. Almost immediately, Marian friends were put into my life. I began to wear my sign of consecration — the Brown Scapular. I still wear it at all times, removing it only to shower.
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Since I was reading all I could get my hands on about Mary I found other treasures such as St. Alphonsus Liguori’s wonderful book, Glories of Mary and Fr. Garrigou-LaGrange's, The Mother of the Savior. Ultimately, I discovered St. Maximilian Kolbe and his beautiful Marian writings, and so made another consecration by his formula, and on August 15, 1996 I joined the Militia of the Immaculata (M.I.) that he had founded.
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Having made my consecration to Mary and putting all that I am and have and do into her hands, more spiritual “adventures” were in store for me. Consecration to Mary is christocentric as Our Lady never keeps anything for herself, but it is her mission to bring souls to Christ. This would be a mission for me now as well.
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Zeal for others to know Jesus and Mary and for them also to grow in faith became a desire in my heart. However, Our Lady had other steps for me to take first. In some sense she “introduced” me to her Son present in the most Blessed Sacrament. I found myself coordinator of hours of Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament in my parish and I had never even been to adoration myself! So I went for holy hours of adoration to see what that was all about. It was there that I truly fell in love. Never had I dreamed that such a thing would happen: that I would come to love Jesus in His Real Presence in such a way that to this day, it is Holy Mass and adoration that are first priority in my daily life. Prayer and the Holy Rosary also became a joy for me.
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Still hungry to learn all I could of the holy Faith and about the saints who are such wonderful examples for us, I was more and more drawn to Franciscan saints. Already I had discovered St. Maximilian Kolbe and his love for the Immaculata, Mary. There were St. Francis and St. Padre Pio and a host of others. A little desire to be a Franciscan began to grow in my heart. When I encountered a person who was a Franciscan Tertiary of the Immaculate, I was immediately intrigued and desired to learn more. I sought information and learned that this order was a Franciscan path with a Rule of Life that was also strongly Eucharistic and Marian. St. Maximilian is a particular patron of this branch of the Franciscan tree. I had found a religious home!
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As soon as I could, I began formation as an “isolate,” which is to say that I do not have a local community but my formation is carried out by readings and audio lessons. Presently I have been in formation for over 5 years and I am a professed Tertiary with a religious name, title and habit that I can wear for very special occasions. It is a very great joy to visit our friaries and I will have the opportunity to do so next month.
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I have written of my spiritual journey, yet this vocation to a Franciscan and Marian Third Order, as wonderful as it is, is still a secondary vocation. Marriage is my first and primary vocation and this too has been enriched by my Marian Consecration. I say this because my consecration and later profession brought a strong sense of desire to seek and do God's will over my own and this has contributed to contentment in my marriage. It has not always been easy for my husband to recognize a spiritual journey that he has not been drawn to; yet the graces that our family enjoys cannot be denied. We have been very blessed in our relationship with each other and there is peace in our home. At ages 17 and 21, our sons remain true to the faith.
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As I look back on this past decade of life, I have so much gratitude to Mary for the difference that she has made in it. This consecration has changed everything, and in reflection I see that it was a defining moment in my spiritual life. St. Louis de Montfort, possibly the next Doctor of the Church, wrote that to truly come to know Jesus, one must discover the secret of Mary. I have certainly found this to be true and discovering Mary, all else came to be for me.
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Ave Maria!.

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